23 August 2008

In The Dark


Houten by night
Originally uploaded by Tim Rigter
I was making my way down my darkened hallway and passed by the front door. I noticed that both porch lights were off, so I flicked the switch a couple of times. Nothing. I went to switch the hall light on to see what was going on, but it stayed dark as well. Looking out the small window in the door, I could see three silhouettes setting up to play roller hockey in the tennis courts across the way, and a light was on in the the corner as they fanned out beneath it. But that light was on. I figured there hadn't been a blackout. Either way, it was very odd for anyone to be out there in the middle of the night but I was too tired to worry about it right now.

So I continued on to my bedroom. When I got there, those lights didn't work either. I flicked the switch a few times, getting angry at this point, because I could hear my television so I knew power was on. I grabbed around for the remote to see if I could change the channel to something with a brighter image to get some light into the room and find my flashlight. But every channel was dark. Not off, but it was like the brightness was down to zero and you could just make out black shapes moving around. That's when I noticed that the three people in the TV show had stopped talking to each other and were looking at me. Then I woke up.

I have strange dreams when I have a fever. One that has stuck with me since I was a teenager: I was lying in bed, along the wall of my bedroom. My face was numb from the warmth of my fever, my sinuses causing a drowsy pressure in my head. On the far side of the room, two FBI agents suddenly appeared in the door and wanted to get to me. But a large potato was rotating slowly in the center of the room. It grew larger and larger, eventually filling the room to capacity. As the comfortable weight of the now-giant potato crushed down onto my bed, I woke up.

Who needs drugs? Anyway, I'm feeling much better today. Thanks for all the well wishes!

19 July 2008

PayPal is great.

I'm starting to see why random people end up hating PayPal eventually.

Somehow on Monday the 14th, while I finished adding a new email address to our account, I got dumped onto a "complete your Business Account" page with most of the steps completed except a credit card verification. I didn't remember seeing this before, but it must be important if PayPal is going to throw it at me while doing something else. So I went back to our account, deleted the old expired card, wondered why PayPal hadn't asked about that before, entered fresh credit card info and filled in some other blanks like our federal EIN number. A couple of days later, a $1.95 charge appeared on that credit card with a 4-digit code which I confirmed on our PayPal account. Done deal. Same as ever. Our account has been working fine since we opened it in 2002 and has always been PayPal "verified."

Then yesterday, Friday the 18th, they sent out an email asking us questions which are none of their business, to be honest. Either process my payments or don't. But there was something else, too.

I quote:

Thank you for your recent application submission for PayPal Payments Pro or Virtual Terminal.

In order to complete your application, we are requesting additional information and documentation from you to verify your business to proceed with the Payments Pro / VT Application Review Process. All requested information needs to be submitted within 7 days to continue the review process.

Please provide the following information:

1. Please include a list of the activities you will engage in during the normal course of your business and how PayPal will be used as your payment provider.

2. If you are processing the payments for the goods/services on behalf of a vendor, who is the merchant of record, you or the vendor?

3. Will you be managing the disputes which may arise regarding the delivery of the product/service or the quality of product/service?

4. Will you be paying a per purchase royalty for the product/service?

Please provide the requested information via email to compliance@paypal.com. You may also fax the information to 1-303-395-2862 ATTN: Compliance – Due Diligence. Please remember to include your email address as registered on your PayPal account on any correspondence or faxed items. Once we have received and reviewed the aforementioned material, we reserve the right to ask additional questions on your policies and procedures. Failure to provide the information may result in the closing of your account.

Send any questions to compliance@paypal.com.

Your assistance and expediency in this matter is appreciated.

Sincerely,
Tim
PayPal Compliance Department
PayPal, an eBay Company


Woah, my application for what? The closing of my account? What?

I figured I'd take my time putting proper answers together. This was obviously some level of function we had never needed, so I was happy to just let it slide.

..Until I tried to log into our account today to pay some iTunes royalties. They have "limited" our account until I provide them with "requested information" to further verify us. These limitations include accepting money, sending money and not cancelling the account. In other words, go screw off. (And our online store is down.)

So I reply to the email with four quick answers, also noting that I don't want any upgrade to this account so it shouldn't really matter anyway. This was apparently a mistake of some kind. And I wait. No response whatsoever. Guess what? Now it's Saturday. Crickets. Special Saturday crickets who don't answer email or reactivate PayPal accounts. I log into the account again, and go to the page noted in the big warning, trying to upload our business info. And I get multiple errors that my 83KB JPEG is too big, even though the attachment limit is 5MB.

I use their contact form in order to tell someone about this problem, and I get this reply.

Thank you for inquiring as to how to restore access to your account.

PayPal is constantly working to ensure security by regularly screening the accounts in our system. We recently reviewed your account and need more information to help us provide you with secure service. Until we can collect this information, your access to sensitive account features will be limited.

To return your account to regular standing, please complete the checklist items indicated when you login to your account and click on the link provided on the "Account Overview" page.

The link will appear as: "Your account access is limited: Click here for Details."

Once you complete all of the checklist items, our Account Review team will review your case and send you an email with the outcome of the review. Cases are reviewed in the order they are received.

We regret any inconvenience, and we would like to restore your access as soon as possible.

Please do not respond to this email, as responses to this message will not be answered.

Sincerely,

PayPal Account Review Team


An obvious automated chunk of boilerplate. Regular screening I can understand. We can't have a bunch of scammers scamming people via PayPal.

But disabling an entire account and then asking questions? What the hell is that?

I have been to the page suggested (hard to avoid, since you can't do anything else on a limited account) and found nothing more than some vague request for more information. When I click on the link to provide more information, I can either Fax or upload files. The files page has a simple pop-up with choices like Name Verification, Address Verification, Proof of Business Registration, etc. Easy enough, though this wasn't mentioned in the email at all.

This is typical of PayPal when you run into any sort of problem. When I recently had an eBay buyer's bank reject a $4 PayPal payment to me for insufficient funds (!), and I had to provide "more information" for the fraud protection (even though that loser and his bank should have had the burden), I got sent to a PayPal page with no way to send anything of any kind. Genius.

The 83KB I mentioned above was our partnership authority with the county. It finally went through when I kicked the JPEG quality down to 10% to achieve a 54KB file. Yes! Yet the account is still "waiting for my response." I don't know if it has been accepted, gone through, or basically anything at all.

In the mean time our six-year-old PayPal business account, which has never once had a single complaint, is offline and we are losing online sales. And I can't believe these assholes don't give a shit.

What to do?

1. Wait until Monday, apparently, when "Tim" from PayPal comes back to his "job."
2. Check back into Google Checkout to see if it's still too complicated for anyone unless it's their full-time job.
3. Check into Amazon's upcoming payments system and see if they still take way to much money simply because they are Amazon and that's how they roll.



Update 20 July 2008

Dear Planet Hype,

Our review is complete and we have restored your account.

We appreciate your patience and thank you for your help in making PayPal the safest and most trusted online payment solution.

Sincerely,
PayPal

Please do not reply to this email. This mailbox is not monitored and you will not receive a response. For assistance, log in to your PayPal account and click the Help link in the top right corner of any PayPal page.


In other words, "we meant to do that."

I did go and have a look at Amazon Payments. It's not bad. It looks like there are more features and flexibility than PayPal offers. I don't doubt it probably works better and is more reliable, since PayPal has this habit of not sandboxing anything but just letting new stuff loose on their users with no notice at all. Their rates are the same when accepting credit cards, and even lower when taking other forms of payment. Special lower rates for payments under $10, too. No recurring fees.

They don't have PayPal's integration with USPS and UPS which I use a lot for our store backend for shipping labels, etc. And I've already spent time on all of our code integration with PayPal that I'd rather spend making more music now. But I did sign up with Amazon and I'll be ready to hop over if this bullshit happens again. PayPal has really pissed me off.

17 June 2008

Thinking About JumpDomain.com?

Don't. This is my recommendation. They were a solid domain reseller years ago when they were connected with OpenSRS/Tucows. At some point, they hooked up with eNom instead, possibly for not responding to customer issues. Luckily for JumpDomain, eNom had a similar level of apathy towards customers. I learned of this as I tried to get the last of my domains transferred elsewhere over the last several months.

I honestly didn't care until I tried to do a couple of "global edits" to my domains using the control panel on JumpDomain in 2006. It was a simple series of changes to enable Spam Catcher protection on all 12 domains. This hides my real email address so that bots can't go through registration records, harvesting spam targets. The global edit sat for a few days, then weeks, and finally several months had gone by. My registrant address was still sitting out there. I couldn't cancel the job or restart it. Worse yet, support tickets went completely unanswered. Uh oh. I had read about other domain registrars going under, and it wasn't always a safe trip for the domains themselves. Time to leave.

When you transfer a domain to a new registrar, you pay the new guy for an extra year's time, then you request a special security code from the old guy and make sure your domains are unlocked. Ideally, you get your codes, give them to the new guy, and the transfer takes place. Done deal. I opened a support ticket, requesting the codes and started unlocking the domains.

Of course, not all went well. Two of the domains generated an error, saying they were already unlocked. But the control panel and a 'whois' lookup said they were not. This is the joy that is the interface between JumpDomain and eNom, apparently. So I added this little detail to my auth code support ticket. And I waited. And waited.

Feeling cheeky, I opened another ticket regarding the first ticket. And waited.

No longer feeling cheeky, I started opening a new ticket every week. If they weren't going to answer me, they were going to have a growing backlog to show for it. A response!

We can only send the EPP code to the registrant email contact. Please verify the registrant email contact is correct in the domain manager, and if not, please update it. Once it is correct, please let us know and we will send out the EPP code within 24 hours.


Boilerplate. Copy paste. I respond that I've done this before and everything is in order. Let's do this. And wait. Nothing.

In the mean time, a couple of my domains are now about to expire. Dilemma. Do I give Jumpdomain more money for doing nothing, or see if I can get the transfer done which will add another year in the process? Not wanting to play chicken with my intellectual property, I sprung the ten bucks on each for another year. At least I won't lose the time after the transfer, getting another year beyond the new expiration date.

And I waited. And opened more tickets. And now a few more domains were coming up on expiration. I renew anything that might expire in the next two months.

At this point, I decided to look into JumpDomain. A Google search revealed that it is run by one guy in the midwest, and he's apparently a lawyer. It was sounding like a little project on the side to cash in on the Interwebs in the 90's had now turned into an uncontrollable giant squid. But who cares, as long as the squid continues to process credit card orders for new domains and renewals, right? I didn't want any part of this mess. I got a handful of new email addresses and phone numbers. All dead ends.

End run time. I go directly to the mothership, eNom.com. They have a lot of front-end triage to get me to "go away" and contact my reseller, but I persist and finally find a way to open a support ticket without being a customer. I explain that I have tried to conatct JumpDomain for months, and that I need some extraordinary action at this point. Two days pass and I get more copy-paste boilerplate from them:

Thank you for contacting us regarding your domain management. This domain is currently registered through one of our resellers, information below. You will want to contact the reseller for account information and domain assistance as you do not have a direct account with us.

I have copied the reseller on this ticket as well so they are aware you may need assistance with making DNS changes, unlocking a domain, or renewing the name.

You and your reseller will need to work together outside of this ticket as they do not have access to our ticketing system. This ticket will now have a closed status.


Isn't that great? "Screw off" in so many words. And of course, I didn't get any response to the "copy" sent to JumpDomain.

Another month goes by, I contact them again. I get the exact same response. I respond immediately so the ticket won't go into permanent closed status. The reponse is different, but essentially the same. eNom will not do anything.

Getting angry and thinking about lawyers, expenses, losing domains and the like, I decide to step it up.

First problem: The two locked domains. I went into my control panel and looked at how the UI controlled both locking and unlocking. They were simple commands dropping variables into the URL. Since the UI thought that the domains were locked, it only gave me the option to unlock. Once I figured out the proper values, I manually entered the URL to lock the domains. Success. Every system agrees. Then unlock. Success. Ok ready to rock.

Second problem: My transfer authorization codes from JumpDomain. I started opening a new ticket every day using a rotating pool of my Gmail, Comcast and other email addresses just in case there was some problem getting back to me (there was no response history showing on the web site, but just in case). I include in the tickets that the domains are all unlocked, and the registrar email address is a-ok. Two weeks later, a response!

Hello,

The EPP code has been sent in a separate email to the registrant email contact for the domain.

Thanks


No apology or explanation, but the rest of my tickets are closed. No worries, my auth codes are finally coming in. I immediately take the codes and plug them in at the new registrar, which continues the process. I receive emails that two of my domains are about to expire at JumpDomain. Too late, assholes, I'm out. The rest of the process seems to go well, although JumpDomain takes about a day longer to respond than the proper deadline indicated. Ultimately, all of my domains are transferred. I could log in for many weeks and still see the domains listed at JumpDomain, but that's their problem. They still seem to think one of my domains is registered there right now. A whois lookup says otherwise.

The punch line?

Today, months later, I received this email from eNom:

From: "Support Center - Please do not email reply." <supportcenter@support-services.biz>
Reply-To: "Support Center - Please do not email reply." <supportcenter@support-services.biz>
To: jumpdomain@_________.com
MIME-Version: 1.0
Message-Id: <485816FE.000002.14180@websc15.int.rightnowtech.com>
Date: Tue, 17 Jun 2008 12:56:46 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: _________.net CUSTOMER NEEDS ASSISTANCE [Incident:080617-000187]


CUSTOMER NEEDS ASSISTANCE

Discussion Thread
---------------------------------------------------------------
Response (Laurie R.) - 06/17/2008 12:56 PM

Attention eNom Reseller,

Please be advised your client contacted us directly requesting assistance. As they are your customer, we provided them with your contact information.

STEP ONE: Please contact your client promptly. Details below.

STEP TWO: It is important that you reply to this ticket within 24 hours to indicate you have contacted your client. Otherwise, it may be necessary for us to assist them directly.

Registrant Name: ______ _________

Domain:

Email: _______@gmail.com

Phone Number:___-___-6488

Brief Request: needs domain auth code

IMPORTANT:
Per ICANN regulations, we are required to assist the registrant with their domain management needs. However, we know our resellers prefer to provide service to their clients and will continue to refer them to you for the next 24 hours.

Thank you for your assistance,
eNom Technical Support Team


Ticket Reference #080617-000187
---------------------------------------------------------------
Product Level 1: eNom/Bulk Domains
Date Created: 06/17/2008 12:56 PM
Last Updated: 06/17/2008 12:56 PM
Status: Waiting on Customer


[---001:001656:23765---]


It was sent to the email address I had used to open support tickets at eNom earlier, when I was trying to get help with JumpDomain. It was a special address I had set up with "jumpdomain" in it, so at least I'd know where spam came from if it was addressed there. Note that I blanked out the poor guy's name, email address and phone number above, but they had left the domain field blank themselves. Genius. Luckily, the domain was in the subject of the email. I looked it up. Guess who it was registered with? JumpDomain.

I logged into their support ticket system and replied:

"Who are you talking to? I have never been an eNom reseller. Now that I FINALLY have my domains transferred off of that shithole JumpDomain, no thanks to you, I don't want anything to do with eNom. Now you're sending sensitive customer email to the completely wrong person. What did you do, a quick search for "jumpdomain" and found my (former) customer anti-spam address? This is hilarious. You couldn't get off your asses and do the same for me when I needed MY auth codes from JumpDomain in March. What changed? Class action? Good bye and good luck with your next job search."

So that's it. I'll wait for their reply before killing that special email address. It could be entertaining.

The above is simply my story. I'm not implying that it might happen to you. But if you found this tale while considering JumpDomain, or even eNom, consider what you've just read. Then go back to the search engine of your choice and consider the other stories from the last few years.

Update, 18 June 2008: The reply from eNom. I give them kudos for professionalism in response to their own major screw up.

Response (Laurie) 06/18/2008 04:30 PM

Hello Mr. Gutierrez,

Our sincere apologies, this should not have been sent to you as you said. We have put a new program in place to help registrants that experience problems with non-responsive or out-of-business resellers. While we realize this is too late in your case, we hope to be able to help others avoid the frustrations you went through with JumpDomain. This particular situation will be reviewed by our Technical Support Manager, and additional training will be presented to the staff to make sure this does not happen again. Thank you for bringing it to our attention, we appreciate the time you took to let us know.


That's the first time I've seen them come close to admitting that JumpDomain is a real problem. Maybe there's someone listening in the mothership after all? Good riddance. My new registrar is one of the big boys, and will always be.

13 April 2008

The Thirsty Spider

When I go to bed, I usually have a little water left in a bottle I've been working on all evening. So I keep it on the nightstand in case I might want a refresher in the middle of the night or the next morning. I leave the cap off, and have often taken a swig in the dark without looking very closely. That stops today.

The photo here tells the tale. I reached for the bottle this morning and thought something looked odd. The realization happened at just about the same moment my hand touched the bottle. I quickly un-touched the bottle. I did not scream like a little girl. Nope.

After finding and screwing the lid back on, all was right in the world again. Things are funny like that when you first wake up. Now I became the little boy, fascinated by this arachnid I had just captured. I turned the bottle upside-down to dislodge the spider from the top of the bottle, but it quickly righted itself. A couple more turns and I discovered why: The spider had been in there for a while already, and had built a small network of webbing.

What was the final outcome? The spider wanted to be near water. I granted that wish.

30 March 2008

Preview: The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

17 December 2007

So

So, what the heck is going on in the tech industry where everyone has to begin every sentence with this word? It's most obvious when they are answering a question or starting a presentation. It makes me wonder if this is a mneme to recall something rehearsed. Are all of these people attending the same memorization seminar? Are they all under mind control?

It doesn't necessarily stop there. The word "so" is also being used in casual conversation by people who can't think of anything else to say, but still want to imply meaning from what they did manage to say. I'll just let you think about this, because I'm going to be annoying here, so...

15 December 2007

AVP-R Movie Preview

Not to be outdone by the mystery Cloverfield maybe-monster maybe-alien movie preview, here we have the first few minutes of Aliens vs Predator Requiem for your viewing pleasure.



Definitely monsters. Definitely aliens. Definitely coming out on the same day as Cloverfield, 18 January 2008. Now coming to us on Christmas Day, according to the latest TV spot.